Me: Tell us who you are?
HSV1: Oral herpes or herpes simplex virus 1 here. I cause cold sores. Sitting next to me, hiding behind a mask of shame, is my sibling herpes simplex virus 2—
HSV2: I can do my own talking.
HSV 1: My bad.
HSV2: I’m the dreaded genital herpes—but for the record, these days HSV1 causes more genital herpes than I do.
Me: How’d that happen?
HSV2: Most people get HSV1 as children. About 7 out 10 people have cold sores. Most get HSV2 later with sexual activities. Because HSV1 can cause both oral and genital herpes, those without natural immunity to HSV1, can develop HSV1-genital herpes through oral sex as adults.
HSV1: Speaking for me and HSV2 (HSV2 groaned under its mask), we have an unjust rep because where we go—not what we do. To me, infections are infections. COVID likes lungs, Staph likes skin, we like nerves. Yes, nerves, we travel, multiply, and sleep in nerves. Like our cousin chicken pox/shingles, we’re considered neurotropic or nerve-loving viruses. The skin part happened to be where the nerves end.
I get it, nobody wants me on their date nights or vacation photos, but nobody wants COVID-19, either. Yet, we’re cemented in shame and secrecy. HSV2 have been relationship breakers (HSV1 looks at HSV2 nervously). Why? I want to get things straight; I will not live in whispers.
HSV2: “There’s no darkness—but ignorance.” Shakespeare.
Me: Wow, powerful. What’s the worst you can do?
HSV1: We can do nasties. Two worstest scenarios: Newborns and cancer patients on chemo, but for the overwhelming majority, the inconvenience and embarrassment are worse than the disease.
HSV2: Not “worstest,” just “worst.”
HSV1: Really?
Me: Without sounding ungrateful, how can we get rid of you?
HSV2: You can’t.
HSV1: We’re a lifelong infection.
HSV2: “If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” Maya Angelou, civil right activist.
Me: Nicely put.
HSV1: Buddha have mercy. Did you come in here today with a list of quotes to impress? HSV2 has many complexes. It feels superior because we’re sophisticated double-stranded DNA viruses as opposed to COVID’s single-stranded RNA virus, which mutates constantly because the dumbbell can’t ever replicate itself right. But HSV2 feels inferior and shameful. Look, most people with genital herpes have mild symptoms. About 13% of the population have genital herpes, but very few know they have it. The danger: They can shed virus without visible lesions.
Me: What can we do so you don’t ruin our life and relationship?
HSV1: For frequent outbreaks, a class of antiviral medications—acyclovir, valacyclovir, famciclovir—works well. Taken immediately when you feel tinkling, numbness, soreness, or a nub of blister, it can reduce the duration of the outbreak. Or you can take a low dose daily and keep the frequency of outbreaks down.
Call your doctors for a prescription. Keep a just-in-case stash—like migraine drugs.
HSV2: May I add a holistic approach? It’s not clear what activates us from dormancy or why some get bad herpes and others don’t. Balancing your immune system is a juggling act bordering a miracle. However, a good policy is keeping your stress down. Sleep, eat right, exercise, look at the big picture… We are your stress meter.
Me: Any last message?
HSV1: I also pop up in nose, mouth, fingers. We both can go to buttocks and thighs. If you have painful blisters/ulcers in these areas that come and go, could be us. By the way, you can’t get herpes from toilet seats.
HSV2: I shouldn’t be a relationship breaker. Start early with a solid understanding of us and be honest.
Me: Thank you. Happy Thanksgiving.